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Features of IELTS Writing Task 2 : Increase in violent crime
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Topic: Increase in violent crime
Recent figures show an increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologists claim that the basic reason for this is that children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning they need from parents and teachers.
To what extend do you agree or disagree with this option?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words
Model Essay 1 :
In recent years, great attention has been paid to the topic of who should be the most responsible for the child’s behavior. Therefore, there is numerous discussions on this issue. Some people state that parents and teachers ought to be blamed for crimes committed by young children. However, some opponents disagree with the above perspective. In this essay, the argument will be carefully examined to support my opinion.
The first thing to consider is the fact that children’s surroundings drastically affect their growths. According to the recent report in Japan, about 80 percent of young children responded TV games or computer games were the most inspiring for them to make crimes. Thanks to advanced technology, young children can play violent games with extremely clear screens. This has drastically encouraged for children’s violent behaviors in real world. In addition, advanced technology didn’t give us only these harmful game, but also social network service so that people can be connected easily with even strangers. If young children meet bad people on website and are unfortunately related with them, young children might be involved in violent crimes. Therefore, I would like to argue that it is insufficient to conclude that teachers and parents should be responsible for children’s behaviors.
On the other hand, it is also true that teachers and parents are close to their children. Children have many things which they don’t know what they must not do and what they may do. Teachers and parents usually have many chances to meet their children and teach these things. However, the time children’s teachers and parents is limited. It is impossible to accompany with their children. Besides of this, children can have their own computers or games and it is difficult for their teachers and parents to intervene all the time. Therefore, as I mentioned in the second paragraph, what teachers and parents can do for their children is limited and children can make criminal even if parents or teachers educate them due to other surroundings.
In the final analysis, I would like to emphasize that this problem should be discussed by more various perspectives. It is too overlooked to conclude teachers and parents should be responsible for their children’s behaviors. In my opinion, other surroundings such as games play more important roles than teachers and parents when children commit crime.
(480 words)
Model Essay 2 :
Nowadays, an alarming problem is that violent crime rates have increased considerably, particularly among young people under 18. To me, I strongly agree that lack of educating from parents is the main reason of this situation. This below essay will analyse clearly my view.
The first reason that can be easily seen is that in modern life, parents almost spend their time on working to earn money. Obviously, there is less time to take care of and supervise their children carefully. In addtion, gap between parents and children have been expanded; so these children have rarely had chances to share their feelings to their parents as well as learned from family side. Moreover, there are plenty of negative items such as violent films, bad things from Internet of crime that survive around us; without parents’ control, children have been influenced on those things easily.
Another factor that needs to be mentioned is that unstable marriage life have led to a surge in divorce rates. Having a broken family and shortage of love from both mother and father have caused distraction of those youngsters in their study and some significant negative impacts of their psychology. As a result, children with immature character have become more aggressive, behave rudely and particularly imitated violent film or plunged headlong into social evils.
However, it is undeniable that parents is not the only factor that leads to increase young violent crime percentage. Since it depends on conceit of these youngsters about protecting themselves from harmful impacts, In spite of dealing with the above sitiuation, some of those children have lived positively. Neverthless, from what has been considered above, parents have played a vital role to prevent growth in crime rates.
In conclusion, personality development of chilren is unable to be perfect without supporting frome family side. Futhermore, a propriate nurture of parents not only has helped to drop crime in youngsters but also produced good citizens for our future.
(324 words)
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